The best way to learn to know another is to learn to know you FIRST. Really know who you are. Make yourself your project.
Study your life with as much attention and energy as you have been devoting to thinking about others.
You make judgments and assumptions, based on what you heard other people say about you, or other people, when you were not supposed to be listening, or from a “friend” who told you “what so & so” said about you or another person.
What you heard is another person’s perception, judgment and assumptions.
You make judgments and assumptions by comparing yourselves to other people.
You think you know other people; however you have NO IDEA about them either. No-one, that is NO other person, knows what you think, what motivates you, why you do, or do not do things, what you feel, so what makes you think you know what another may be feeling, thinking or what is motivating them?
This contributes to "misery marsh" in your life. You have not had the same parents as another, the same upbringing, the same schooling experiences. You have not had the same friends, the same peer pressure, the same teachers, or the same life!
Sometime you try to think, talk or act the same as others just to belong, to fit in, to be accepted. This is dangerous ground, because it is not long and you find you are living a life that is for/by someone else and that leads to added misery, resentment and depression.
When you assume and judge things to be a certain way, or you think you know someone, or know the reasons why someone does something, or does not do something, you are basing those assumptions and judgments on your point of view, your perception. You are basically saying that, “I think just like you, so I know what you feel, think or why you do things”.
So how can you know you better?
Have the courage to reach out and find a coach to assist you to navigate the maze you are in to become free of judgments and criticism and to really understand yourself. For in this you will really begin to understand others.
Erena Oliver Empowerment Specialist
I am a Wellness Consultant helping women to reclaim their self respect, self acceptance and confidence. And best of all helping them to release their fears of ever feeling powerless again.